we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
