weddingsv make me drug and hornr
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
