mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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