I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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