...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
