Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I party with great urgency now.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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