I didn't shave. On purpose
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
