I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
