I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
