He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
