Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
