brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We had sex on a dog bed..
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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