I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
