i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
