the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
