it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
