I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
