Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
