i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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