Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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