I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
