I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Sorry about my life...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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