I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize