what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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