Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it glows. i had to have it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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