Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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