Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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