shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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