This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
