Im at strip club and am horny
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
