I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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