He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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