I got chris browned last night
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
