I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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