Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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