Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
it hurts more in the daytime
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
