Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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