i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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