Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize