Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
