Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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