Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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