it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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