well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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