this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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