Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just blew my weed a kiss
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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