The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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