dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
