porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize