So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
