Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
