He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
