shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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