They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
