in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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