sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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