I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
