i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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