This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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