Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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