is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Never joke about your clitoris.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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