Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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