i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
And then my night got REAL pukey
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
