ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
