At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
