dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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