oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
